Easier

So many things have suddenly become easier today...

I had realized a couple of days ago that I had been doing phase 3 of running backwards for the past three weeks. After finding this out, I had decided to run today in the program that it was always suppose to be; I had no idea how much of a difference the system would be in the right order. All this time I had been struggling where I could have worked in a much easier pace. Now I am unsure whether or not to start phase 4 on Thursday, so we will see how well I do on my Tuesday run.

Also, I had a talk with Joe today. Lately I have been worrying about how things would be when he got back from Kuwait. I don't want to be left behind as a low priority and last semester's crap will not fly again! I had mentioned all my worries, and I feel like Joe was waiting for this day...he also knew something was wrong because I haven't been sleeping. This weekend more than through most of this deployment. He had assured me that there is nothing to worry for and of the circumstances that lay behind last semester. I know these worries will come up again, but I am really glad we talked.

I think my communication skills with Joe are very good considering our age. I also don't think people realize that when problems arise we face it head on. This is something I still need to work on (mainly because it is hard for me) but I think Joe appreciates that I say what is bothering me, followed by why and the way it affects me. We send these conversations back and forth and I find it useful because it is important for us to realize where the other is coming from. I do not think we would last without us having these talks.

In a couple of days Joe will be officially deployed. His training is finishing up and they are getting ready for Kuwait. I am hoping I will see him on his two week leave, but at the same time I don't want to be disappointed if it can't happen. I am taking Joe's thought of not too many plans because of Murphy's Law. To be honest, this is really going to be a hard year; it already is. I think I have taken for granted the time that he has to speak with me now...and as always fear the changes that this new stage will bring.

On a positive note, My first month and a half is done. I have made it this far and now there are only a few more months to go. This is the hardest part, and I am ready to take it head on. I will still use my time to focus on school and I am excited to graduate next year. I am still running and doing pretty well with it (considering a month ago I could barely handle the minute of jogging and now I can do three), I can see myself at my weight goal when Joe comes home and I like it. This could be the Midol talking, but I am feeling a lot more positive than I was this morning.