Tired

For the past couple of days I have been really tired. I don't know if it is the environment, the temperature, or if I am just PMSing but I am really not pleased with the outcome of this week.

I would also say that it could be all the walking that I have been doing, but I am really only walking to keep myself from going to sleep. I become more tired after meals, but I am still tired all of the past couple days. Given last night I didn't sleep well, I still feel drained. I was also in an exceptionally bad mood for today. Most recently, I have been trying to find out if there were any emotional causes to my fatigue. It is true that I am still going through my not going to cry stage, but I really don't feel that much of an urge right now. I keep thinking to my past and future with Joe and that is where I am finding my contentment. I know you are not suppose to fantasize about the homecoming, but that is something that I need. What keeps me in my okay state is knowing that Joe is going to be home.

I feel like I am over-analyzing everything. In my mind I am searching for any signs that I may be losing my grip, so that way I can plug the hole before it starts leaking over. It would be foolish of me to say that there isn't a small part of me freaking out, but the stronger part of me knows what it needs to do. People go through this all the time, and I am in a day and age where the communication bridges are no where near as hard.

I just hope this is all PMS so in a couple of days I will have my energy back and I can not have to worry about obtaining my goals. Speaking of which, I have never listed them officially! Below is a list of my goals for Joe's deployment.

1. Weigh 140, or less, when Joe comes home (steady date Nov 14)
2. Deans list all Semesters
3. Refine design skills
4. Run 5k by summer break
5. Low stress/anxiety
6. Keep a positive attitude

I want to add another one in there about refining my violin skills, but I am not sure when I will be able to take the violin to school. Overall I want to learn new songs for both violin and viola but these are things I am doing anyway. I also plan to do some crocheting as well as reading. The above are just the more important goals for me. The 5k will make sure I continue running and exercising throughout the summer. I just don't want this experience to drain me like the stories I have read!