The Ju-Ju

Since the beginning of the semester, I have had a hard time finding my artistic "ju-ju." (pronounced joo-joo) I have also wondered why I was having difficulty because during this intersession I was able to design a very nice logo. What I really saw the issue in was figure drawing; it had been so long, I am still working on getting where I was almost a year ago. I have also re-reminded myself, I have the potential to blow my teacher's minds.

The "potential" is really where I have always had an issue. Everyone had said I have potential to do better (which is true), but how was I suppose to find it. It wasn't even till now that I finally realized why I do so much better when my design isn't my school work. Even though it was already known, I do better because I am not trying to please for grades. I am well aware that working for a client is to please them, but there is something about that report card that freaks me out. I do not ever want a repeat of my seventh grade year at school. I literally failed everything, and it wasn't even because I couldn't pass. Really, with the exception of math (teacher didn't teach things that were on the tests), I am not even sure how I was able to do so poorly. I had somehow managed to get to the mentality that this would never happen again, but the downside is I have a "I'm going to fail" freak out every semester.

This, I'm guessing, is what is blocking me up in design. I know I have read Art and Fear, grasping a lot from it, but there is still more I need to get from my artmaking. I need to realize that not every idea is going to come easily, and to accept the help from the people close to me. Before, I would have a brilliant idea and if I saw something similar I would throw it away. Now I am runing through with it and trying to push my limits. Much like I am physically with this whole running thing. One of my goals for this deployment is becoming a better designer, and now I am honing those skills and relocating my mojo (ju-ju).