Glad for the Weekend

This has been a very busy week. I had spent such a long time catching up on Graphic Design homework I didn't really know what to do with myself. Originally I had gotten behind in the class because I didn't have a strong enough topic to work on the assignment. Now that I have I am finally refining the informative images into a website...and I must say, it is coming along nicely.

Regarding running, tech, I ended up not going all of the days for this week. Because of Valentines Day, I ended up missing the run because the gym was closed. Then, because of Ash Wednesday (and Graphic Design) I ended up missing the gym along with a couple classes! Thursday was just stressful, but I forced myself along. Although I am doing better in phase three, the last three minute run I am still struggling with. I can make it to two minutes, but that is as far as I can go at the moment. I am hoping that I will have it down and comfortable by next week, but this is not likely.

I don't know whether or not to be frustrated or proud. I am running so much better than I did at the beginning of the semester and yet I am struggling on a phase. Deep down I really want this to be easy, but I know I am going to have to work hard for this. I am going to meet my goals of being able to run a 5k and I am going to lose the weight I want to lose. I know this and I am still struggling to work through the urge to feel like I have failed.

I am really glad that I am surrounding myself with people who understand my situation and are trying to help me. My friends are being conscientious of my not going crazy with my calories and they are also knowing that Joseph is away and my time with him on the phone/online is very important to both of us. I think everyone is glad that I am pushing myself through, and I don't think I would be ok as I am now if I didn't think about all the things that could and would happen. I spent a majority of the pre-deployment time mentally preparing and finding out exactly what I want.

I still find accomplishment in the fact that I haven't cried, but I do acknowledge that the day will come. I find every time I get upset it gets a little more deep, but at the same time I am getting upset a bit less lately. However, I am wondering if the energy is being diverted into my patience with people. I let a lot of things go because they weren't a big enough deal....now I see myself getting short fused when people are pissing me off. Not enough to really freak out on them, but enough to make me be a bit more bold and less tactful.

I have not decided if this is a good or bad thing yet.