Joe's Visit

It has been a long time since I have posted but things have been both busy and eventful. It was also this week that Joe came to visit me for part of his leave and never have I been so surprised with everything.

When Joe came, there was no doubt I was excited. I look forward to seeing him more than any one else, but I had told myself I was not going to get overly excited (to the point where I get sick) and overall this was a point at which I had no nervous energy at all. Joe's visit almost completely pulled into a routine/feeling as if he had never left. It isn't that this doesn't happen every time, but there was an added comfort in just seeing him.

It is a hard feeling to explain. I spent and enjoyed my time with him and I saw him off. I will admit, one of the times I had woken up Friday morning I woke feeling upset, but after I slept again the feeling had burrowed itself. In this visit it almost seems as if I have found an acceptance in how things are. Also the knowledge that I am about half way done and have already proved my strength helps emencely.

The second time (during leave) we say goodbye is suppose to be the hardest. However with my mindset, it was about the same if not less. Joe will be home in a few months then he will visit me again. There could also be an acceptance of our long distance relationship continuing as he finishes college. With this, not much will change...however I would expect to see him more.

What really made the biggest impact is how we merged so well. Again, it is hard to explain the feeling I got from these past three days, but it is one that I hope stays with me for all of our times apart. I always feel as if everything is going to be okay, but this time it was more than that and the feeling that everything is right got stronger. A helpful aspect was our heart to heart, which always happens his second night in. We pulled so many strings and talked about all that is going on.

I truly feel like an anomaly. Somehow I am blessed with the ability to handle my second goodbye, and I think I have been doing pretty well through this deployment. I know the next few months with limited contact is going to suck, yet I look into it without much fear. I think I knocked down a lot of my barriers with him and I am getting very comfortable. I am still in shock over how I feel at the moment...as should anyone who reads this.