Maybe I should go to church more often?

Another day and another plan. Though, with this, I feel much better.

Yesterday ended on a very good note considering how it was going. I ended up watching the Princess Bride and talking to Joe again. No matter what I did, I couldn't stop a steady (though seemingly unnoticeable) shed of tears. I just really felt like crap, but I knew the feeling would have to pass eventually. I went to sleep and dreamed of Joe.

The next morning I had to drag myself out of bed, quite literally. I just wanted to stay there and never leave, but I knew that wasn't going to solve any of my problems. I just went off to class and wondered what I would do next. I also found time to talk to my sister and we came up with a plan where Joe could stay at my house for his time between drill and AT...then all I would have to do was come home during the weekend and see him.

Between chats, mainly right after class, I found myself in the Reflection Room at school. Still feeling bad but just not wanting to be alone AND in my room. I then found myself just praying for anything that will let me see Joe, some plan, anything, and at the same time letting my problems go. Putting myself in God's hands and for the first time calling upon the saint [Mary] that seems to dominate my family, in a patron sort of way.

I left, and started my lunch. It was at this time that my sister told me of her idea, and it reminded me of the dream I had last night where Joe was staying at my house. As time passed, I then made plans with Sam to go to the gym, so I could think and work out for the first time this week.

While there Kate called, and that is where everything started moving. She wanted me to go over to her place this weekend and basically said I didn't have a choice. Sam was displeased about this (she doesn't like being on campus alone and I was the only one staying) but I felt like I was suppose to go with this. All that was left was okaying it with my parents.

While running through the weekend plans, both of my parents gave the same idea that Kristen and I were running with. This was extra special because I didn't have to ask. The small changes in my plans with Kate was that I would stay home today so my parents and I can talk and I can see them before they leave. When I ran this by Joe he seemed very pleased that there was a chance we can see each other again, though I think he was more pleased that I was happy for the first time in over a day. Actually, I think this is the first time I let him see me excited (more than usual, I was still holding back a bit!).

Now I am just waiting on the response from Joe's parents. I still fear that there is going to be another thing pulled out of the blue that will prevent this, but, I am hanging on that not happening. I need hope and this is my outlet. Though I do think that everyone is surprised at my dedication. Except Kate, who is fully on my side.