The Dates

I have finally gotten a date for when Joe should be taking his two week leave and it is in just about a month! I am really excited and see this as the half way mark to the end of his deployment (even though it is a bit earlier than that!). I feel like I have been waiting so long for these dates and now it feels real again and I am so anxious to see him a little over a week after school ends. There is one small fear pinging at me right now. It isn't a big enough deal to really matter, but I am concerned that I may have to relive some of the earlier stages of deployment again. This fear I hadn't even thought about until Joe had mentioned it before he left. He had given me the option to miss out on his leave then, but the truth is, I wouldn't miss it for anything.

I have have been holding up good so far and I can't see that changing in the foreseeable future. Even if I am upset enough to have it affect my daily life (for anyone who knows me this is nearly impossible to do more than skim the surface) I do not expect it to last as long as it did in the beginning. Before I was waiting a year; this time I will be waiting several months. I have been through the hard part and I know I can do this now. There is also a new reassurance that I need to be more patient with my life. I want so badly for resolve, but I have to wait.

Overall I look forward to seeing Joe again...or rather touching Joe again. I am extremely thankful that he is so attentive towards me and that I get to hear from him almost every day. I see people around me who aren't as fortunate and it makes me glad to know Joe is so open about how much he cares and willing to "see" me so frequently. I know I am reminded constantly of the haze that enters my life after the deployment, but I still trust that everything is going to be okay. I may be walking down a dark path, and I may not know where it is taking me, but I am not alone.