Wrapping It Up

The months have gone by and it is suddenly December. I find myself in a much better place than I was at the beginning of the semester. As I stated before, I have found my peace. Now I am wading my time for the semester to end, as well as looking forward to seeing Joseph.

It is when I think about the fact that next time I see him (not counting the Christmas party taking place this Sunday) that things start getting touchy in my mind. I am trying not to focus on the bad things, just how much Joe means to me and how I'll see him soon. 2010 is going to be a hard year, there is no denying that, but I will make the best of it! To be honest my main focus is no tears till he is gone, there is no reason to cry because it really wont solve anything.

I want to keep this rationality thought this whole ordeal, but I know that that isn't possible. At the moment, my best course is staying happy while it matters, there is no reason why either of us would have to deal with emotions of our (temporary) detachment when we are together. I am going to think of this the same way I did when he was at AT, I can handle two weeks, I can handle a year....(*focus*)

I am going to be honest though, I am nervous. But really these fears have been brought on by other's theories on what I am going to do. Really all I pray for is strength, and all I ask for is support. That is what I need. I am letting go of the urge to take charge for the "better," but really I need to leave my life for God's plan. Since I have decided this my anxiety has been diminishing and things are working out for the best.

Soon the year finishes, the semester finishes, and it is already time for me to see Joseph again! I had though last time he left, I felt that it would be so long till I would see him again. I walked through my days, both the fast and slow, and now that month has passed and I get to see him again. I will start the New Year with him, I only hope to end this year with him as well...