Nice Guy vs. Bad Boys

I have recently read a blog about "What is the Nice Guy?" (Found it from a Tumblr post from Carol) and it got me thinking about how this man couldn't possibly be right.

What he explained is that the "Nice Guy" isn't actually nice and the "Bad Boys" that the girls date have good qualities (though there is a lot more to it than that), long story short the "Nice Guys" are basically just being nice to get into a "non-platonic" relationship with the girls. Because of this if they don't get what they want, they get angry with the girl (because of their lack of communication or the girl's lack of interest) which isn't a sign of true affection.

The point of this article, from what I can tell, is that they aren't really your friend if they suddenly change because they aren't getting what they want. The guys get discouraged and are turned into the "Bad Boys." This was a very complicated thing and it really made me have to think about what it was that I myself look for, because when I know, I know how to re-translate what it is that girls are looking for in men.

Now I have always been looking for a nice guy, pretty much the representation of the blog, however the end result is not something I found appealing. So I considered the possible holes in both theories and came to the conclusion that the man is right, "Nice Guys" are not all they are cracked up to be.

We [women] want gentlemen. When we say we want you to not open doors "not because you have to but because you want to" what we are really saying is we want you to put the thought into doing things for us. We want someone who we will inspire.

Women have been the inspiration in men for thousands of years. If one pays attention, almost every design has been rendered from the human body, but mostly the women's. This is more than enough proof we are influential in a man's life, just as the men inspire ours. The thing is most girls don't understand this concept, and in turn don't give guys the chance to be guys.

And I start my short rant...

Modern values frustrate me. With all the premarital going on I see more and more relationships get overcomplicated and break. This is also mentioned in the "Nice Guy" article, I think people are forgetting the emotional intimacy because there is so much going on once they have sex. It seems that some people are filling their blocks in communication with physical intimacy, in fact, I have seen it.

I am seeing more and more importance in communication watching the relationships around me. The ones that have the biggest trouble are the ones that are not considering the other person's views, or not saying how they feel, and the ones doing well are the ones that nip these problems at the bud.

Still my idealist says "Love concurs all!"


P.S. I believe this is on the best article I have read on communication. My sister had read it years ago, then Joe showed me an excerpt in November....this is as close as I can find. It is on how men and women see communication. I found it both interesting and helpful.